The Four Month Headache

Finally home after several days of living out of a cooler in a hotel room in Oakland while taking the California Bar Exam. Of course, being me, several things went wrong, most notably the "inexplicable" failure of the software, meaning that I had to hand-write the entire three-day exam. I haven't hand written anything longer than a thank-you card in the last decade; I hope to regain feeling in my right arm in the next few days.

I have shelter, running water, and way too much food. Compared to most of the population of the world, I have absolutely nothing to complain about and am living the good life. But complaining is way more fun, and I have a headache that makes think a ruptured aneurysm might feel cool and refreshing right about now. Bad joke, I know, but that's about where I am right now.

Good news: it's over, I leave for the beach in about 5 hours, and my wife says she'll still love me if I fail this thing.

Bad news: if I do fail, I have NO idea what to do differently to prepare.

Worse news: we don't get the results till mid-November, plenty of time for me to convince myself that I'll be taking this thing again in February.

Pray for Mojo.

"However, in an inexplicable twist of law..."

Finally just about lost it last night; while practicing some multiple-choice MBE questions from my PMBR book, I finally got to a Contracts question that I knew. Finally found one that I didn't need to narrow down to the two best choices, then flip a coin. Finally hit one out of the park. Answer C, no doubt. Final answer, Regis.

I think you know where this is going. I flip to the back, and it's answer A. That was enough to take me to the brink, but the final shove was the "explanation" for why A was right and C (Brendon) was completely wrong. And I quote:

"Choice C is a correct statement of law, and would be a good answer. However, in an inexplicable twist of law..."

I won't bore you with the rest...okay, I'm not sure I can bore you with the rest because I don't understand the rest. Apparently, if it is inexplicable, we can't understand the rest.

I lost it. Test me on things I know, and I get it wrong: fair enough, I blew it. Test me on things that are inexplicable? That's just plain mean, and I would love to know what they are testing when they do things like that. Jerks. At this point, I'd prefer that somebody come over to my house, introduce himself as the embodiment of the Bar process, and proceed to kick me in the testicles a few times.

At least that wouldn't be "inexplicable."

Go...Joe...Char-bo-neau!

I should let you know at the beginning that I am not a fan of baseball; I find it dull and tedious, like watching golf or Emeril. However, I have some surprisingly positive memories of baseball from my childhood that surfaced this morning.

I was leaving for school and flipping past ESPN2's morning show Cold Pizza when I saw that they were broadcasting from Cleveland's Jacobs Field, a beautiful ball park that took the place of the gargantuan Municipal Field I grew up with. The interviewer was talking to a bald guy I didn't recognize until he said the magic name: "Super" Joe Charboneau!

Here's why that meant something: the Cleveland Indians, despite brief glimmers of hope, are losers. So when even a mediocre player comes their way, the fans embrace him like the Second Coming. When I was a kid, Joe Charboneau stormed into Cleveland like a rock star. For the couple years (really only one full season) he played before getting injured, he inspired t-shirts (I had one!) and even a song that I immediately began singing out loud this morning, much to the delight, no doubt, of my still-sleeping spouse.

As I am studying for the Bar, it's nice to have a positive memory like rooting for Joe Charboneau with my brother and my babysitter, who even took us to a game once (I didn't catch a ball, but I think I had a hot dog, and I bet it was pretty tasty). I need to call my brother and share this with him.

It's also a little disconcerting that I have a tough time remembering laws I studied last night, but can instantly recall the words to a song I heard on the radio over 24 years ago. Come on, brain! I thought we were in this together!

Against my better judgment...

So, all I really wanted to do was comment on Jen's blog, but to do so I had to register, and by registering I apparently get a blog of my own.

You ever go to the grocery store, and all you want is a bag of salad, but then you get to the checkout counter, and it turns out that today only, if you buy a bag of salad, you get a box of croutons for free...and you really didn't want croutons, but then you feel silly not taking them, because after all they're free, and who turns down free croutons?

That's about how I feel right now.

And who knows...maybe it'll turn out I like croutons after all.