Super Sizing my viewing habits

I watch way too much television. You already know this about me. What you may not know is that I am rarely excited about an upcoming television show due to its premise. I'm normally a stickler for deep characters, well-crafted plots, and believable dialog. That, or The Apprentice.

But an upcoming show is exciting me on premise alone: 30 Days, a new series on FX starring Morgan Spurlock (of Super Size Me fame). I thought his documentary was fantastic, and a must-see for everybody regardless of how you feel about McDonald's. I especially think his movie is a must for anybody who (like me) read and enjoyed Fast Food Nation, by Eric Schlosser. Spurlock's movie covers some of the same ground, but in a much more personal, here's-what-happened-to-me-make-your-own-decisions kind of way. (BTW, if you want a great example of the different styles of the two guys, make sure to watch Spurlock's interview with Schlosser in the DVD's extras; Schlosser never dismounts from his high horse during the interview, and apparently had his sense of humor removed one summer during high school).

One more television show added to the list. Where does the madness end?

"My Man Sean May"

If you doubt the veracity of this, ask my wife. In between rolling her eyes, she will confirm that, since November of last year, I have been saying two things:

1. North Carolina will win the NCAA tournament this year, AND
2. It will be on the shoulders of my man, Sean May!

A few minutes ago, both of my predictions came true. And although it wasn't quite enough to vault me into the winner's circle in our brackets pool, I am happy nonetheless. I have been excited about watching May (or "My Man Sean May," as I have called him for two seasons now, although much more this year) throughout the tournament, and there is no question he was the Most Outstanding Player of the tournament. I was also pleased that, as much as was made about my man Sean May's father, dad managed to hide from the cameras and let this be his son's (my man's) one shining moment. Classy.

If only this could have been a Tar Heel/EKU Colonel final matchup, but it wasn't meant to be. Maybe next year.

You got your childhood toys in my childhood fantasies...

How could this game not be fun?

Seriously, I'm asking you.

11:36 to go

Well, I guess it was better than I could have hoped: due to geographic programming decisions, my local CBS station just switched over to the Pacific/Pittsburgh match, meaning I only got to watch a little over eight minutes of my EKU Colonels against the Kentucky Wildcats.

Still, got to see that much, and what I saw looked pretty good. Hopefully, they will continue to play the Cats tight, which could lead to positive national coverage, which could lead to higher levels of recruiting, which means it won't be another twenty six years before the Colonels dance again!

...Now I am the Master!

I use Darth Vader's line to highlight my intense excitement over the UK/EKU matchup in the first round of the NCAA Championships. Based on my very limited understanding of the RPI, I knew my Colonels would get a 15 seed at best, and with it their chances for national exposure were slim to none.

Until now.

Now, though, the drama is palpable, and the story writes itself: Travis Ford, now coach of the upstart Colonels, faces his mentor Tubby Smith, coach of Ford's alma mater and the team Ford went with to the Big Dance. Two Kentucky schools, less than 30 miles apart, one a national powerhouse who has recently been struggling; the other, a small school whose program has gotten stronger year after year.

I could not be more excited. This is what March Madness is all about, and this is why the NCAA tournament is the greatest sporting event of the year.

If you need me Thursday morning, you know where to find me.

Dancing Colonels!

If I may share some Colonel pride, my undergraduate alma mater, Eastern Kentucky University, this weekend hit some basketball milestones. Both the men's and women's teams won their respective Ohio Valley Conference championships, a first in school history. For both, this assures automatic bids to the NCAA championship tournament, or March Madness, as the kids call it.

For the men's team, this is the first time since 1979 that they have been to the Big Dance. Additionally, their 22-8 record (11-5 in conference) is their best record in school history. On the women's side, this conference win punches the Lady Colonel's ticket to the Madness for only the second time in school history.

After watching the EKU game on ESPN2 yesterday, I really hope they get some rest before the tournament starts, because they looked tired. However, I have full faith that Travis Ford will get them ready for the Madness, and I have already filled out my brackets: EKU is going to St. Louis, baby!

SO proud!

My wife went to Las Vegas last week for a conference (at least, she said it was for a conference...wait a minute!), and while there, found time to enter an actual Texas Hold 'Em tournament in the Mandalay Bay poker room! How cool is that! From a field of thirty players, she made it to the final table, eventually being put out just three people before making it into the money. I was three people away from becoming a trophy husband. Damn.

More importantly, she felt she had good cards (pocket Aces on the second hand!), and most importantly, she felt she played well. She said her shining moment was when, at the first table, she built such a huge chip lead that she was making change for everyone at the table. I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it.

Final note: she thinks that our weekend game has prepared us well, and she says we are ready to make the jump into some (small) local tournaments. Bay 101, here we come!

Mom breaks her leg...again!

My mom's newest play opened last week, and runs through the end of February. She is part of the cast of Quilters, a musical by Molly Newman and Barbara Damashek, being performed at the Actor's Guild of Lexington. On their website, you can read about the play, as well as read about and meet the cast (including some fantastic headshots of my mom!).

Also, the Lexington Herald-Leader, the local newspaper, reviewed the play at the final preview before opening night. Please note that although the reviewer apparently wasn't too fond of the staging, he liked the cast a lot, including my mom, a "local stage favorite." Very nice!

Continue to break your leg, Mom!

Betrayed!

I apologize in advance for my language, but what the HELL?

My wife had the flu all last weekend, and then Tuesday, I started coming down with it. But by Thursday morning, I was feeling better, and by that afternoon, I was up, moving around, felt just fine. Not bad, I thought. Not bad.

But then I wake up this morning, and it's back! And, if that's not enough, it's worse than Tuesday. Can that happen? Are there "eye of the hurricane" moments for illness, to fool you into making plans and feeling great, so that a few hours later you body can BETRAY YOU COMPLETELY and get sick again?

This has to be illegal. Body, I hope you enjoy your thirty pieces of silver, because it will be a long time before I trust you again.

Van-a-Month giveaway?

As much as I love watching Regis and Kelly (well, their first segment at least; I get a certain perverse pleasure out of watching Regis interview someone he's clearly never heard of, and I am almost certain the man never does any kind of research or prep), the rules for the Van-A-Day Giveaway contest seem unusually difficult. So, to give people at least a fighting chance, here are the five clues you need to enter:

1. Rapids
2. Dude
3. Sharks
4. Cliff
5. Snowboard

Go to the Van-A-Day Entry website, enter to win, and if you win a van because of my clues, I should at least get to borrow it for a weekend or something.

Episode 4F22 lives again!

So something happened tonight that hasn't happened in three years, and I wasn't sure would happen again: my local station played the episode of The Simpsons where Homer has to go to the World Trade Center to get his car back after Barney abandons it there. Maybe this is a sign of healing, or a realization that attempts to "forget" the WTC by wiping it from our collective memories does no real good, but regardless, I was glad to see it again, and had forgotten what a funny episode it was.

By the way, this link to TVTome describes the episode and some of the editing it apparently underwent before being shown again in certain markets. The one they showed last night included all the WTC shots, but I was cooking dinner during the point where the guy in Tower 1 calls all the people in Tower 2 "jerks," so I am not sure if it was left in. They left in the Betty Ford Clinic musical number ("I'm Checking In") and references to the CHUDs, and that was enough for me.

Pokah!

Man, do I love some poker. Played again this past weekend after our successful brunch, and played well: good cards, some good bluffs, a couple successful all-ins. Nice.

So, to share some of the fun, here are some fun poker links:

• Is anybody else trying to win a seat in the World Series of Poker? I play "Mr. Vegas" every time, thinking that one of these days it will work, but I have a feeling my chances are pretty slim regardless.
• The All In Poker Fantasy Camp sounds like a GREAT vacation and learning experience...if you would like to sponsor me, I will gladly wear your hat and t-shirt!
• Speaking of all in, the new poker magazine All In released its first issue last month, and looks like a lot of fun. We got a gift subscription for some departing friends in our poker group; we hope they enjoy it!

I realize that the first step is admitting you have a problem, but I'm winning...

No self-respecting Southerner uses instant grits...

Mmmm...we're cooking part of a brunch tomorrow, and I decided to add a nice Southern touch by making grits. The only problem? Although I lived in the Deep South for many years, and enjoyed grits many times, I've never actually made them.

But thankfully, Alton Brown saved me yet again. I watched Good Eats the other night, and then tried his cheese grits recipe this morning as a "test run." Result? Quite easy, very tasty, and I think I actually prefer them plain rather than with the cheese (although they were very good with the cheddar as well).

My brunch boast is safe. Thanks again, Alton!

Shameless self-promotion

I just completed a massive update to my brendonland website, including pictures of a visit from our friend Kathy, our trip to Aruba, my trip to Bardstown, and our recent vow renewal in Las Vegas.

Obviously, not every picture makes the site, in large part because it's a free Geocities website, and the bandwidth is pretty low. If you want more pictures, email me and I'll send some (digital or physical) your way.

Maybe "Lancealittle" was too subtle?

I watched the movie Shrek last night; I had seen parts while visiting my brother and his family last month, but wanted to see it from start to finish. Now, while I admit freely that I used to be a stormtrooper for the Disney Corporation and therefore predisposed to dislike "outside" animation, I was a little surprised at the crude humor throughout the movie.

The fart and poop jokes, the obligatory hit in the crotch: I get that, it's a kid movie. Unfortunate, but par for the course. But the numerous references to tiny genitals, Robin Hood wanting oral sex, and whatever Lord Farquaad was doing under his sheets? Wow. I'm not saying I was offended or anything, but I thought the whole "movie kids and adults will both enjoy" usually involves adults getting inside joke references to pop culture, not animated characters masturbating.

Way to go, DreamWorks! If you can't beat them, go the route of the lowest common denominator. Sadly, it usually works, and I have a feeling Shrek 3: Spring Break! is looming on the horizon.

Give me all your money, honey...WOOOOOOO!

We were in Vegas for the weekend, but I was not yet comfortable enough to sit down at a poker table. Hopefully I will correct that soon.

However, I was able to sit down at a blackjack table and get robbed by Little Richard. Allow me to explain:

We were looking for some less expensive tables, and so made our way to the Imperial Palace casino. While there, we found the Dealertainers section, where celebrity impersonators deal blackjack and occasionally sing.

The theme was a good one, since I was apparently impersonating someone who knew how to play blackjack. Little Richard proceeded to play some of the luckiest cards I have ever seen: if I had a 19, he hit 20. If I had 20, he hit blackjack. EVERY. TIME. I never hit a blackjack; he hit four of them. In a span of about 25 minutes, he cleaned me out, and never sang a single song. Not very dealertaining, if you ask me.

Damn you, Little Richard!

What a weekend!

This past weekend, my wife and I celebrated 10 years of marriage (I know!) by renewing our vows in a fun way: we sailed a white wedding gondola down the fake canals at the Venetian Resort and Casino in Las Vegas. Truly a wonderful weekend; we were surrounded by friends and family (including both our original best man and matron of honor!) and a few hundred spectators (some of whom videotaped us; are we on the internet somewhere right now?). Spectacular!

When I get some pictures back, I'll ask my friend Jen how to put them up for all to see.

MAXIMUM ass-groove!

Oh my...it has begun.

I have this working list of semi-ironic "things I really want to buy for myself once I get a job, although once I have a job I will not be able to enjoy as often as while unemployed." One of the top items on that list came yesterday from my mother-in-law as a Christmas/Birthday/Bar Pass gift.

My Xbox.

Yesterday, I hooked it up was playing the included game Top Spin (which allows you to create your own doppleganger, and Brendon Xbox is now ranked 37th in the world, having won three mini pro tournaments and gaining a sponsorship from Adidas...oh yeah!) when my wife came home; I think she said something about playing too much, or how I wasn't listening or something? I'm really not sure.

(Virtual) Pete Sampras, you are going down!

My couch's permanent ass-groove

So this weekend we bought and stamped Xmas cards, did ALL of our (non-online) Xmas shopping...and then last night our microwave oven died (BTW, how long should a microwave live? This one was a wedding present, meaning it made it to within a week of exactly ten years of regular use...is that good?). Needless to say, the look I got from my better half as she trudged out the door this morning to work, and I was sitting on the couch in my pajamas, coffee in one hand and remote control in the other, was not friendly.

I need a job.

Tells and Tales

Played poker again this weekend, and did pretty well; played some good cards well, and played some mediocre cards well enough. Noticed an interesting tell at our table that is probably true at a lot of home games: after the deal, everyone looks at their cards before the first round of betting, but after the flop, everyone looks at their cards again EXCEPT those who have really good cards that are easily remembered. I realized this when I had pocket Jacks (club and spade) and was the only person not "re-looking." Even if they had been one red, one black, I probably would have looked again just to make sure I had the suits right, but as it was, I gave it away pretty quick, and everyone folded. Good to remember.