Paying people to rub me

Over the weekend, The Wife and I took advantage of the nice weather to head up to Sonoma for some sun, wine, food, and relaxation. As part of our daytrip, we went to a spa; we have been to this particular spot a couple times before, and have enjoyed our past visits. On this particular occasion, however, several events occurred that gave me pause; I would love to hear any thoughts/ideas on how to handle such things:

• The Talkative Masseuse: the woman who did my massage would not stop talking. On top of that, it wasn't just chatter; she wanted to have an active conversation about her belief that human society has gone too far, and all of our backs would be better if we still squatted and sat on logs, and how I should quit my job if I can't get a better chair in my office. Ugh. Instead of asking her to stop talking, I took the passive route, reducing my responses to monosyllabic grunts, which did seem to slow her down, if not stop her altogether.
  
  
• Overexposed: it is inescapable that, during a massage, there will be parts of your body not normally shown to strangers that will be, if not outright exposed, at best very thinly veiled. I am not sure what this says about my self-esteem and/or modesty, but when there's a lot of Brendon showing, I normally feel sorry for the masseuse, rather than self-conscious. This time, based on both the breeze and the lack of fabric I was feeling, there were definite draping issues. I didn't adjust the sheet, and neither did she; I wondered if it was one of those situations where adjusting the sheet would only have served to call more attention to it, and embarrass both of us, and if we both ignored it, we could both pretend not to notice it? Tough call.
  
  
• Tipping: I always get a little anxious about tipping a masseuse, in part because I am not sure how to calculate the tip. Are you tipping based on time, based on what type of therapy you choose, or is it supposed to be a straight percentage of the overall cost, like a waiter? I have always gone the waiter route, say 15%-20% of the total cost of the treatment before tax, and it looks like most tipping guides agree with me. Given that no waiter has ever rubbed me, I figured it would be more, but that again may say more about me than the industry norms.
  

I should note that none of what is described above was really unpleasant or bad enough to make me reconsider going back; in fairness, I should also say that the massage itself was one of the best I have ever received, and I guess the chatter was worth the lack of pain today. Next time: bring the iPod.