Sunday, August 26, 2007

Thumbs WAY up!

Watched this weekend's ep of Ebert & Roeper this morning, and along with Roger, something else was missing. Even if you don't watch the show, you may be aware that Roger Ebert has been off the show for quite some time, recovering from cancer. They have had a parade of guest hosts come through, some more interesting than others, but they have all stuck to the same formula: thumbs up, thumbs down.

However, on this week's show, the thumbs were absent. At first I assumed this meant that Roger may finally be fully retiring, and the show was being reformatted. However, I did a little Googling, and I found this article which explains that Roger, as part of his contract negotiations, decided to take his thumbs with him, and is not letting the show use his trademarked grading system.

I will admit, the thumbs up/down is a little simplistic at times, but I think I like it that way; it forces you to grade each movie against itself, and not against others. Make them pay, Roger.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Backhanded compliments

We were watching an episode of Big Love last night, and after yet another scene where Bill, the husband, has to untangle the Gordian knot of infighting between his multiple wives, I mentioned casually that I would be a bad polygamist. The Wife, answering so quickly that I got a little frightened that she can, in fact, read my mind, and therefore sees through the various gauzy veils of ironic deception that make up my life, (such as how I only watch Rock of Love because I used to listen to Poison as a young man and keep waiting for the episode when C.C. DeVille shows up at the house, rather than the truth, which is I am worried that it will come down to Sam and Jes, because then who will I root for? The creative editing for next week's ep seems to imply that Sam may finally have her meltdown and need to go, but I am holding out hope for my fave rocker grrrl) said, "Yes, you would be a terrible polygamist."

"Terrible"? I mean, I don't want to be a polygamist, and I had already admitted I would be bad at it, but terrible? Isn't that a little harsh? I mean, I know I would be bad at the stern-father-figure/"laying down the law" portion that seems to be important on the show, but I like to think I could learn how to do it over time and with some practice.

If you have been married as long as we have been, you probably know where my thought processes went from there. Now I secretly want a couple more wives, solely to prove to Wife #1 that I can do it, and therefore prove that Wife #1 is wrong.

Ah, spite...the salt and vinegar potato chip of emotions.

Thursday, August 09, 2007


I just finished A Spot of Bother, by Mark Haddon, and I enjoyed it. I should put a caveat on my enjoyment by pointing out that, although told with heart and wit, this is not a happy story. But then again, few of us live ideal lives, so this snapshot of a family, teetering on the brink of collapsing in on themselves, felt real to me.

Part of what I enjoyed about this and Haddon's previous novel (which I liked even more than this one, and recommend very highly) is it is unabashedly British. I am not exactly sure what "knackered" means, but in context it made sense to me, and added to the context of the story. Made the whole novel a little more gray, a little foggier. Brilliant!

Thursday, August 02, 2007


I am a man of many titles: husband, attorney, barbecue sauce spokesperson. But now, thanks to my new see-through grills, I can add one more: pimp. That's right, pimp. My motions in limine are straight gangsta, yo!

So far, so good. I am into my second tray, and the first few days of each tray are tight, rather than painful (so far). After a few days, they are easier to get in and out of my mouth, a maneuver that still finds me hiding in the bathroom stall, for fear of people seeing me dig in my mouth and the inevitable drool. So sexy.

The main goal is straight teeth without conventional braces. However, the unintentional, and unforeseen secondary goal may be weight loss. I have to keep them in for 20 hours a day; while in, I cannot eat, and I can only drink cool, clear liquids. So, this means snacking is now more trouble than it is worth, and drinking is limited to water and vodka. I could be imagining this, but going into week 2, I noticed that my pants feel a lot looser. Suddenly, the 24 month program doesn't seem like such a bad thing, and I might ask to go a little longer.

But next time I want platinum and diamonds. Because that's just how I roll.