Cruise, Day 1: Up All Night

Day 1 of our relaxing vacation got off to a rough start. We caught an overnight flight to Orlando, sitting in the last row of the plane by the bathrooms, ensuring that (a) our seats would not recline, and (b) any other chance of sleeping was eliminated by the constant congregation of people waiting for the bathrooms. Nice.

We arrived in Orlando at around 6AM local time, thus ensuring that we were first in line for the bus to the port...which was scheduled to leave at 10A, but was closer to 11. After a 45 minute ride to the port, we were kept on the bus for another 40ish minutes by a 90 year old Royal Caribbean employee appropriately named Dick, who waited the full time before revealing why we were being kept on the bus. Very smart, Dick. Several lines and hours later, we were finally on the boat.

Once on, things smoothed out. We were aboard the Mariner of the Seas, a floating city, complete with ice rink, shopping mall, and its own Disney World theme park. Only one of those is false. We enjoyed a trip to the spa for much-needed massages, attended a welcome cocktail party for the Wife's poker tournament (she was given a free shirt, which was a men's polo shirt, size L. If you have met my wife, you probably know that she is not a size L, and not a man. This was the first year of the Mariner Masters poker tournament, and they have a lot of things to work out if they do this again), went through our muster drill, and got in line for our first night at dinner.

I should take a moment to talk about the lines. If you have not been on a cruise before, and are considering it, ask yourself the following questions:

1) Do I like having every moment of my day planned down to the minute by somebody else?
2) Do I like conforming to that schedule of events, including standing in line for every one of those events?
3) Do I like standing in those lines behind Angry Dads, who answered questions 1 and 2 with an affirmative, and now will show their affirmation by talking out loud to no one in particular about how angry they are that the schedule is late and the lines are not moving?

I strongly suggest that you be able to answer "yes" to at least two of those questions before booking your cruise.

Day 1 ended in our cabin, with me and the Wife collapsing into coma-like slumber on the surprisingly comfortable bed. Day 2 was a day at sea with a minimum of scheduling, and so was one of the few days we would not have to set an alarm. We took full advantage of this.

PS. If you are a man who is a size L, or know a man who is a size L, and would like an ugly polo shirt, let me know. We have a couple available.