Green, please...

Some pointless nostalgia...enjoy!



And who could forget...

Thank you! Come again!

In what may be the best movie promotional campaign ever, 7-11 converted twelve of its stores into Kwik-E-Marts to promote the upcoming Simpsons movie. When I found out that one was within easy driving distance, I knew my mission was clear. As you can see from the photo, many people shared my mission, to the point where they had a bouncer letting people in a few at a time. If you wanted to just buy something normal...sorry...


Immediately inside is your Hindu friend and mine, Apu, welcoming all customers and assuring you that you will be gouged. Other life-sized supporting characters include Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Ralph, and the most inspired, Jasper inside the ice freezer as Frostilicus.



There was a small selection of show-themed items, including Squishees, Buzz Cola (fountain, not cans...dammit...), Frosted Krusty-Os cereal [sold out, "should get more tomorrow"], issue #711 (get it?) of Radioactive Man [also sold out, also theoretically in tomorrow], and of course, Homer's favorite pink donuts, here being stocked by a Kwik-E-Mart employee who, like his coworkers, seemed very surprised that there were so many people intentionally coming into his otherwise crappy store.

A good pilgrimage, and certainly worth the drive. I guess I am sort of okay with them being sold out of the cereal and comic books; I can't imagine eating the cereal, and both would have sat around until The Wife decided it was time for them to be thrown away. I did have a Squishee, which tasted suspiciously like a Slurpee, and I did buy two of Homer's donuts, and how can you screw up donuts? Good trip, good time, and looking forward to the movie.

No answer

Question: if, as I would be inclined, I named/dressed my team for the World Series of Pop Culture in Simpsons-themed sports garb, most likely either the Isotopes (obvious) or the Meltdown (more obscure and therefore cooler/nerdier), would the producers be less likely to include Simpsons questions for us? If my homage to the greatest television show ever would decrease the likelihood of getting Simpsons questions, would it make more sense to go a different route (like "The Solar Sailors" team with Tron, Sark and Clu shirts? That would be pretty tubular), and increase the odds of getting Simpsons questions so that I may devastate all that stand before me?

Discuss.






BTW, I went to the movie site, and built my alter ego, complete with an Isotopes t-shirt (think of this as a dry run for '08). Looking good, cartoon Brendon!

I don't get it

I saw this sign in the back window of an older model BMW yesterday:


I was (and still am) confused. Is this referring to people getting turned down for credit cards, which seems almost difficult to do lately? Is this referring to people not having good credit histories? More importantly, what would possess someone to put a sign like this in the rear window of their car?

The guy driving had a bad tan, way-too-open shirt, and was wearing several ugly gold chains. No question in my mind: this guy is getting credit!

1-18-08

This site is about the only one left where I could find the trailer to the as-yet untitled JJ Abrams project, due out in...January '08. Made me very excited; watch it while you can!

BTW, it is running in front of Transformers, which amazed me: how can a three-hour movie about huge, fighting robots be so dull? The trailer was the best part.

UPDATE 7-10-07:

Looks like JJ is going legit, littering the web with all sorts of viral marketing that makes me squeal like a geeky little girl. Here are some fun sites: the trailer, a puzzle, a blog about the puzzle (and, if you need some help like me, a walkthrough for the puzzle). I have no idea what this movie is about, but I am IN!

You've got the touch!

In honor of tomorrow's opening of the ninety-minute explodathon, long dreamt of in my youth, I bring you the following YouTube movie. Not only is it pretty funny, but the fact that it includes a sports-training montage set to Marky Mark's version of "The Touch," from the original version, makes this pretty tubular. That's right...I'm bringing back "tubular." Deal with it.

Enjoy.



Thanks go to Jen for reminding me of how tubular that song is.

I get it...you're sexy!

And, most likely, unachievable for the likes of me. I see you everywhere I go, reminding me of just how unattainable you are, but as frustrating as it is, I can't stay mad at you.

See you in a couple years.

See this movie!

We just got home from seeing Once, and I am still smiling. This movie is a beautiful, tender story, told over and around the music written and performed by the two leads. Being a jaded moviegoer, I kept waiting for the ugly part, and thankfully, it never came. If you have a chance to go see this movie, do so; if you are disappointed, I will be amazed.

Prediction: on Sunday, February 24, 2008, Falling Slowly will win Best Original Song at the 80th Academy Awards. Mark your calendars.

The Market Has Spoken

I haven't actually seen any of these movies, but I can't say that the death of torture porn makes me sad. In fact, the way it is dying actually gives me hope; instead of angry politicians and offended parent groups calling for boycotts and tougher ratings systems, people are simply not going to see these movies as much. As the dollars dwindle, so will future offerings, like this one I keep seeing advertised on the train.

Good job, America...you're growing up.

Feed me, Seymour...

The Wife and I took advantage of a rare sunny day in the City and took a walk today to the Conservatory of Flowers in the park. It reopened a few years ago, and I loved that the renovations kept the older style in mind.

The special exhibit currently on display features carnivorous plants, which was a lot of fun to look at, but unfortunately, none of them were actively feeding when we were there. I guess it's not like the zoo...bummer.

It's warm (they keep it tropical and moist in there), and it's hard to take a bad picture. Nice afternoon.

No business like Shoah business...

Finished My Holocaust, a satirical novel by Tova Reich about selling the memory of the six million Jews murdered by the Nazis during World War II. Reich skewers everybody, leading up to the final battle to determine whose tragedy wins Worst Genocide Ever. Like other novel-length satires I have read, I thought the story petered out at the end, but this is a fast, funny (in a cringing sort of way) read and worth the trip. I'll go B.

Bless me, Father. I ate a lizard.

I just finished A Canticle for Leibowitz, by Walter M. Miller, Jr., yet another in my recent string of post-apocalyptic novels (not sure that says healthy things about where my mind is these days?). In three acts, the book covers almost one thousand years of "history" after an all-out nuclear (or, as our President would say, "nukular") war almost wipes out humanity. On its surface, the book follows the canonization of Saint Leibowitz, a pre-war scientist whose work to preserve knowledge becomes increasingly mythologized over the centuries, leading to his eventual sainthood. On a deeper level, I think this book is about the seemingly inevitable, cyclical nature of humanity, both in its ability to grow and destroy itself, and I also think this book is about how the distance of time can create Gods from regular people.

That latter theme is one I wrestled with for a long time. When I was growing up, I got into regular arguments with my father about attending his church, an institution that was preaching absolute faith in what could, to my mind, at best be described as allegorical stories and fables. I remember asking him if, a thousand years from now and under the right circumstances, people will be worshipping the Lorax, and if entire holidays will be built around where you can and cannot eat green eggs and ham? Looking back, maybe that wasn't a very fair question, but I was thirteen, and fairness (to others) wasn't very high on my to-do list.

This book was slow at times, but the payoff was worth it. I have decided not to read the "sequel," as I worry it would only detract from my enjoyment of this novel and my respect for the author. Solid A.

Overheard on the train

On the train, going home last night:

"Oh, come on. Let me guess, she has some winning lottery tickets in her purse, too?

- Unidentified, bitter man behind me, speaking after a very attractive woman, wearing very little and carrying a big pizza box, got on the train and asked someone if this train stops at such-and-such street, because that's where her boyfriend lives.

Paying people to rub me

Over the weekend, The Wife and I took advantage of the nice weather to head up to Sonoma for some sun, wine, food, and relaxation. As part of our daytrip, we went to a spa; we have been to this particular spot a couple times before, and have enjoyed our past visits. On this particular occasion, however, several events occurred that gave me pause; I would love to hear any thoughts/ideas on how to handle such things:

• The Talkative Masseuse: the woman who did my massage would not stop talking. On top of that, it wasn't just chatter; she wanted to have an active conversation about her belief that human society has gone too far, and all of our backs would be better if we still squatted and sat on logs, and how I should quit my job if I can't get a better chair in my office. Ugh. Instead of asking her to stop talking, I took the passive route, reducing my responses to monosyllabic grunts, which did seem to slow her down, if not stop her altogether.
  
  
• Overexposed: it is inescapable that, during a massage, there will be parts of your body not normally shown to strangers that will be, if not outright exposed, at best very thinly veiled. I am not sure what this says about my self-esteem and/or modesty, but when there's a lot of Brendon showing, I normally feel sorry for the masseuse, rather than self-conscious. This time, based on both the breeze and the lack of fabric I was feeling, there were definite draping issues. I didn't adjust the sheet, and neither did she; I wondered if it was one of those situations where adjusting the sheet would only have served to call more attention to it, and embarrass both of us, and if we both ignored it, we could both pretend not to notice it? Tough call.
  
  
• Tipping: I always get a little anxious about tipping a masseuse, in part because I am not sure how to calculate the tip. Are you tipping based on time, based on what type of therapy you choose, or is it supposed to be a straight percentage of the overall cost, like a waiter? I have always gone the waiter route, say 15%-20% of the total cost of the treatment before tax, and it looks like most tipping guides agree with me. Given that no waiter has ever rubbed me, I figured it would be more, but that again may say more about me than the industry norms.
  

I should note that none of what is described above was really unpleasant or bad enough to make me reconsider going back; in fairness, I should also say that the massage itself was one of the best I have ever received, and I guess the chatter was worth the lack of pain today. Next time: bring the iPod.

TK421, why aren't you in my closet?

When your spouse tells you that you will be attending a wedding for one of his/her co-workers, I imagine your response is similar to mine: ugh. But when The Wife told me that we will be attending the upcoming wedding of a particular co-worker, I may have actually giggled with delight. Here's why:


This particular co-worker is marrying a nice young man...who happens to belong to the Golden Gate Garrison of the 501st Legion (the fighting 501st!), the self-billed "definitive Imperial costuming organization." I have been told that, although there may not be any Stormtroopers at the actual wedding (which there should be, if this is going to be a recognized union within the Empire), I can expect to see at least a small attachment make an appearance at the reception. You know what this means: pictures of me with Stormtroopers. Even as I am typing this, I am giggling again.

I got so exicited that I had a fleeting thought about building my own costume and enlisting...but that dream lasted about five minutes. Check out this site for instructions on building your own Stormtrooper suit. The short version: this is a long, expensive, time-consuming and potentially dangerous process that requires a LOT of money and a LOT of commitment. Of the voluminous materials needed to build a suit of armor, the only one I own is "the dream," and even that can get expensive.

UPDATE (5-21-07): The 501st made an appearance at the Bay To Breakers 12K yesterday, and a local station posted some footage of them (and others) here. Very cool!

All the way home

I would be shocked if I am the first person to bring this up, but apparently introductions may be in order.



Please meet...



You two have a lot in common, and should be making a lot of money together. Discuss.

Fun in the snow

This time last weekend, we were in snowy Lake Tahoe for a weekend getaway that almost didn't let us get away (see what I did there?). We stayed at the Montbleu, one of the casinos built about 2" over the Nevada state line, and had a very nice time. It was a good trip; we had some spa time, some poker time, and some us time. All very needed, and all very fun.

My better half ruled the poker tables; she monied in a tournament, and then took down a couple locals at a cash game, netting us enough money to almost pay off the whole trip. The cash game was a step up for us; we played $1-$2 No Limit, a style of poker we play in the tournaments, but there is a HUGE difference between throwing tournament chips into the pot and throwing actual money in there. We played for a couple hours; she almost tripled her buy in, and I walked away with $14 more than I sat down with. Both wins, right? Right? By the way, we didn't play at the CalNeva; I took this pic in memory of any number of law school discussions about venue that always took place at the CalNeva. Nothing like a good venue joke.

The only stressful part was when, Saturday night, an "unexpected Spring storm" blew in, bringing a nice coat of snow with it (you can see it blowing in the pic if you look closely). When we woke up Sunday morning to leave, we were told by the front desk to just put our chains on, and we'd be fine getting home. When I mentioned that we don't own chains, the lady asked me, "Well, you have four wheel drive, right?" When I explained that our Mini Cooper has four tires, but not much more than that, we were told to "drive very slowly." Done and done. By the time we left, the chain controls were off, and we got home without incident, but covered with salt and sand. Worth it.

We'll be back, Tahoe...but next time, several months into summer.

King of Cliched Plot Twists

I really need to exercise my new-found freedom to stop reading books. For whatever reason, I made it to the final page of The King of Colored Town, by Darryl Wimberley. If this book is not made into a movie, shown on Hallmark, Lifetime, Oxygen, or some other sappy channel with a predominantly pink webpage, I will be shocked.

Wimberley, a screenwriter, takes the reader on an overwrought, treacly journey where every cliche from every other book about America's segregated past is visible forty pages before it arrives: the poor young Black girl who overcomes incredible odds, the troubled young Black man who loves her but shares a terrible secret with our heroine, the hard-working teachers who help her, the spoiled rich white kids who hate her, etc., etc. Even the inevitable rape scene, at the hands of malicious men who think she is "uppity," not only occurs exactly where you would expect it to happen, but it takes a physical toll on the main character that, in what I am sure the author meant to be irony, robs the main character of her ability to take advantage of the scholarship you knew she would be offered.

This is a lazy, predictable book that pushes well past the boundaries of reality in an attempt to tell a story that I am sure was meant to be heart-warming and/or life affirming, but just comes off to me as a desperate attempt to carve out some chick lit dollars, both in books and eventually on screen. Ugh. D-

Big Book Roundup

Haven't talked about what I have been reading for a while, so here are some quicky reviews of the last few titles that have accompanied me on the train:



Half of a Yellow Sun, by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Beautifully written, great characters, and an amazing historical backdrop. Recommended. Solid A









English, August, by Upamanyu Chatterjee. Billed as the Indian Catcher in the Rye, I liked this book for the laziness of the main character, but more for the way he grew up towards the end. A good read for your own shiftless summer. Solid B








Furies of Calderon, by Jim Butcher. Fun fantasy book set in a world where everybody can conjure spirits, and therefore using magic is the norm. I like the author from his Dresden series, and so far this doesn't disappoint. B+








Letter to a Christian Nation, by Sam Harris. Awesome! A fantastic read, insightful and intelligent...everything I wanted from the Dawkins book, without any of the smugness or arrogance. Has changed the way I think and talk about my faith and my feelings about organized religion. Highly recommended. A+

Learn from me, gentle readers

Something we probably all know (and if you didn't before, now you do): you are entitled, once per year, to a free copy of your credit report.

Something I learned today, that you may already know, but if you did not, learn from my mistake: FreeCreditReport.com is a commercial site that will give you a "free" copy of your credit report, but only after you sign up for a yearly membership @ $12.95/month. (in all fairness, you do have the option of cancelling your yearly membership during the first month and you will pay nothing; however, in order to cancel your membership, you have to search diligently through the website's FAQ section for the 800 number [which is 1-877-481-6826, if you need it], call said 800 number, wait on hold, and then talk to a customer service rep who will read through some binder filled with information you already know in an attempt to talk you out of cancelling your membership. Ugh.)

However, AnnualCreditReport.com is where you can get an actually free report, once per year, without buying anything (or, in my case, without nervously staring at a calendar).

Hope that helps someone.